A change in the wind (Part 2)

This is a bit of a callback to the post I wrote in Season 1. It’s kind of interesting to read now what I thought then. I wrote A change in the wind nearly a year ago when I was still in Taiwan thinking about what I would do in Seattle and how long I would stay there since at that time I was of the thinking of taking life in one-year chunks.

I don’t know. A lot has changed in short amount of time since I’ve returned to the States. And doing something different or moving someplace different…or even the idea of doing that…every year or so is starting to seem tedious. And as I mentioned in some recent post, I don’t really feel like going on another adventure…like, overseas.

But I still feel that need to move towards something. Another goal. The next thing. And I’m considering also, the things that are tying me to Seattle. And I’m thinking now that maybe there are only a few things holding me here. And one of them is that research project I left mostly finished just before leaving for Japan on the JET Program.

I’m going to be going up to Bellingham later this week to finally finish up my undergraduate project and tie off that loose end of my life. I just thought I’d rather do things in a different order, like, you know, get a job first and get settled, then go up and finish the project. But I’m just getting fed up with this thing hanging over my head.

And the thing is, I’m thinking if I can get this finished, then maybe I won’t feel quite as confined to Seattle. ‘Cause here’s the thing. My ESL job ends on Wednesday, then I’ll be going to Bellingham, then I’ll be going to Virginia to see my family, then I’ll come back in time for Aki Matsuri (Japanese Fall Festival). After that, things seem pretty open-ended as to where I could go or what I could do next.

Well, I’m kind of getting sidetracked from the reasons I’m writing this post. Basically, I’m trying to move away from the attitude of “when you know something is going to end, you appreciate it more”. I think, for once I’d like to stick things out for longer than a year or two…well, no. That’s not quite it. I guess I mean, I’m trying to change my attitude about feeling the need to change things on a yearly basis.

The other reason I wrote this sequel, is that I want I want to take on the good attitude I had when I wrote “A change in the wind” and remember the lesson I learned from Japan and put into practice in Taiwan.

I was in a period of darkness for the better part of a year in Japan before getting out of it. And I’m certainly in a period of darkness now. Although the reasons for my current state are completely different than when I was in Japan, the principal is still true. I need to move out of it and on to something else. I don’t want to be in my current state for that long.

Anyway, that was my point. So, I mean, some things are the same and some things are different since I wrote that post. So, I was just reflecting on it as a way of helping me get out of my rut. So, yeah. I know the right answers on what to do…it’s just…Well, things take time. I’d be lying to you if I said that I wasn’t completely miserable right now. But I want to get myself to move on.

Hmm…I probably could have written this post a little better, but…oh, well.